New low: A Dreft commercial made me cry yesterday afternoon. "You have a child forever, but a baby only for one year." Now that we're officially at 9 months, I realize that we've got only 3 short months, roughly 90 days, of baby Ada Mae left.
The tears are welling again.
Can't blame pregnancy hormones anymore.
Please pass me a tissue.
Truth is: I used to get annoyed. Well, maybe that's not the right word. Puzzled? When I'd read blogs or talk to friends who were already mourning the whole baby phase. Come on, I thought. Toddlers are so much more fun!
But experiencing the rapid growth myself has left me shell-shocked.
It's been so exciting to watch her cross milestone after milestone off her list. But she's reached so many of them early (teeth and cruising/standing, specifically). She's even now going through this independent phase where she doesn't want to be held much.
I think I need another tissue. We're hoping that it will pass, but it's been months since she's slept on my chest, even in her carriers. She screams to get down and explore.
SCREAMS! (Which isn't a great habit -- anyone else experiencing this or know how to curb it?)
Too, I feel incredibly fortunate to have breastfed Ada this long. We're planning to continue as long as it makes sense. But part of me has secretly been waiting forward to weaning to get myself back to just ME for a while. I've told Stephen that the day I stop nursing, I want to sit in bed alone for 24 hours, wearing a high turtleneck, watching movies, and drinking champagne.
The other night, though, Ada stopped eating as much during her dreamfeed. I think she's phasing out yet another one of our sessions -- my favorite, mind you -- dropping it to 5 for the day. It's brought about all these new emotions about our breastfeeding relationship.
This is crazy.
So, I guess this sappy post is just to share that even I, who used to roll my eyes at this sort of thing, am finding the growing up process almost too much to handle. Sunrise, sunset. I am trying my best to enjoy each and every last day with our baby A, but it's hard.
This all doesn't mean any new babies soon. Though, I have been calculating due dates for either 2014 or 2015! In a way, I'm pregnant now. WITH EMOTION. Sigh . . . what I wouldn't give for just one more day. My butt glued to the couch with my tiny, cuddly baby sleeping on me.
But smiles and giggles, attempted steps and words are pretty great, too.
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