I look back a year and see an entirely different picture of my little family. At the time last August, I was strung out on worry for Ada's impending MRI. The whole idea of the test sort of stole my entire summer last year. I had no idea what to expect. My hopes were high that the macrocephaly scrawled on all of Ada's charts and sheets was just a genetic fluke . . . that a big head meant nothing more than a big head. Still, I was also expecting the worst and spending so much of my time mulling over possibilities from hydrocephalus to brain cancer for a sweet child who could barely string two words together.
(And, btw, Dr. Google is never right!)
So, it was nothing short of awesome to return to Ada's neurosurgeon's office yesterday completely on the other side of things. I know I've declared the full circle statement before, but having two post-op appointments go well feels . . . amazing. The appointment consisted of asking Ada how she's feeling, measuring her head, checking of any obvious signs that something might be amiss, hearing that everything is perfect, and then scheduling a follow-up for 6 months from now.
Guess what? We might not even need to put her through another sedated MRI. I feel like my dark and twisty insides started bursting with flowers and rainbows at that one! The weight of the last year feels almost entirely lifted from my shoulders. Diagnosis, received. Dreaded craniotomy, completed. Healing, almost done (we have one more specialist to see about that one). Ada, too, is thriving, and I can't believe we made it through the whole ordeal.
Ada starts preschool next month. We're moving forward in all those ways I used to imagine. My own healing has gone into hyperdrive as I've had time to process events and let myself understand that I did the best job I could using the resources I had. I know in my heart that I did everything I can do. I know that I continue to advocate for my daughter's health and wellbeing. We may have many more struggles ahead of us -- like all families -- but we can face anything together.
Thanks so much for your thoughts + prayers along the way.
Pssst: If you found my site because your little one is in need of some hospital care, I do have a few resources that might help you. Here are What to Pack for Short Hospital Visits as well as What to Expect When Your Child Needs Surgery (that last one might surprise you). Just know that there are many of us who have been there . . . and your child and your family -- and YOU -- can make it through this.
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